I will write a 3 verse haiku for $5

CREATED 4 MONTHS AGO, IN WRITING
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This is something I started doing at work with inappropriate topics to pass the time and my work mates thought it was hilarious. Need to tell someone they're adopted? Need to put something in an anniversary card? Need to broach the topic of a trial separation? Say it with haiku! Pass it off as your own and impress everyone that said you were an idiot!