I will get an appraisal of artwork, furniture or antiques by an expert from the world's foremost auction house

A senior appraiser from a very well know auction house (which I cannot name for liability and trademark reasons) will tell you exactly how much your stuff is worth. How will it work? You send me info about the object's background/origin and some photos then in less than two days I'll send you an appraisal of the objects value. For just five dollars per item! Antiques Roadshow for Web 2.0!